Sh*t Clients Say (and What We’re Really Thinking)
I adore my clients, really, I do! You’re the reason I get to do what I love every day. But after 20+ years behind the chair, I’ve heard it all. Some things make me laugh, some make me cry, and some make me want to run out the back door.
Here are a few gems we hear all the time… and what we’re really thinking:
“Do whatever you want.”
Translation: I’ll give you creative freedom, but if I don’t like it, I’ll secretly be kind of pissed we aren’t vibing.
What I’m thinking: soooo… same as last time? Hmmm, kay.
“I want to look natural.”
Translation: I want to look like an airbrushed version of myself 24/7.
What I’m thinking: I’m not a magician homegirl. It takes a lot of work to look “natural” these days. That’s literally why med spas stay in business.
“I cut my own bangs.”
Translation: I was hormonal, it was 10 p.m., and I’d had two glasses of wine.
What I’m thinking: Okay… love this for us.
“How much longer will this take?”
Translation: I’m bored AF.
What I’m thinking: I’m spiraling into a silent panic attack, but thanks for asking.
“I wanna go platinum blonde… but healthy. And I only have $150.”
Translation: I’m having a champagne moment on a beer budget.
What I’m thinking: Immediately, no.
“Just a tiny trim.”
Translation: I don’t want to pay for a haircut, I think a “trim” will be cheaper.
What I’m thinking: Girl, your ends are fighting for their life out here. A trim is a haircut and we need to CUT an inch OFF! Don’t fight me on this one.
“I can never find a good stylist.”
Translation: I’m super picky and probably hard to please… your next.
What I’m thinking: Mmmkay… maybe it was them, maybe it was you. Either way, welcome home, hunny bunny.
“Can you make me look like my favorite celebrity?”
Translation: I want Jennifer Aniston’s hair, but I’ve been shampooing with Panteen and I never do my hair.
What I’m thinking: Kay, so a glam squad too? Right on top of that Rose.
“It doesn’t look like it did when you styled it.”
Translation: I went home, ignored everything you told me, and now I’m confused.
What I’m thinking: Yes, my arms work behind you… your arms work in front of you. Also, I have 20 years of practice on you, momma.
Final Word
At the end of the day, we laugh because we love your quirks, quotes, and all. Behind the chair is where real life happens, and trust me, we’ve heard everything.