Monogamy with Your Hairstylist? Let’s Talk About It
Why every loyal client still needs a hairstylist side piece and why I’m totally okay with it.
Monogamy with Your Hairstylist? Let’s Talk About It
Here’s the thing…a stylist–client relationship is deep. We share secrets, milestones, trauma dumps, and sometimes even therapy-level breakthroughs while I’m doing your hair. It’s intimate. It’s trust-based. It’s… kinda like dating.
But let’s clear something up: I don’t need you to be monogamous with me. I love loyalty, it fuels my business! But I also love honesty and transparency. If something ever happens to me, or I’m booked solid, or life just lived a little too hard that week, you still need to look good.
I’m not saying we should have an open relationship…let’s just calm down there but you do need a backup stylist.
And that’s okay. Actually, it’s smart.
The Hairstress
I call it having a “hairstress” [a hairstylist mistress.] She’s the one you see when I’m out of town, when you have an emergency event, or maybe just because you needed a quickie and my schedule was gridlocked. She’s not a threat, she’s the side chick that keeps your hair thriving until we get back together.
Because let’s be real: if I get hit by a bus (God forbid), what are you gonna do? I’ll answer that for you….You’r gonna find another stylist! And I’ll tell you what’s not gonna happen: another dramatic COVID home-hair situation.
You need someone you trust, someone who knows your color formula, respects the craft, and isn’t threatened by another stylist stepping in. Someone who can fill in seamlessly without making you feel like you’ve cheated.
And honestly? It helps me too. Sometimes I need a hairstylist side piece. Someone who I can pass the baton over to, and someone who can jump in when I’m too busy with a 6 hour color correction. It’s not betrayal. It’s maintenance. Beauty doesn’t wait; it needs immediate attention.
When Sharing Is Actually Caring (Guidelines)
Let’s get something straight: your “hairstress” needs to respect the art. I never lie or guilt clients to mark my territory. I don’t own you, I help you. I help you look and feel your best.
I’ve worked with stylists I’ve never even met, and guess what? None of us feel threatened. In fact, half the time the other stylist specializes in something I don’t. I’d rather be great at my thing than mediocre at everything.
Competition is the real enemy. I live by the motto:
Don’t compete where you don’t compare.
If someone’s not even in my lane, we’re not in competition. I believe in community over comparison. When you’re not threatened, you can learn. Jealousy is hard to rewind, but once you learn to manage it, it won’t ruin your relationships professional or personal.
The “I Cheated” Confession
The number of clients who start a sentence with, “I’m so sorry, I cheated on you but…” cracks me up. Girl, chill. It’s ok. You had to get a haircut out of town, or your budget was tight, it’s cool! I’ll always be here when you need me. I’ve had clients disappear for years and come back like no time passed at all.
Now… if you come back with a bad haircut….. I will definitely give a judgy side-eye. Not because you cheated, but because that stylist wronged you. I hate when people mess up hair and then play victim like, “Well, I did my job” or “Thats what you asked for'‘
No, sweetie. Your job isn’t to f*ck up hair. Get humble.
Final Word
I still love you. It’s okay. I’d rather help you find your side piece than clean up a messy rebound. And honestly….
Does it help if I told you that I see other people too? 😉
Just don’t ghost me. I won’t be mad, I just get emotionally invested in the cliffhanger of our last conversation. Like seriously… how was that birthday party where your ex was supposed to show up? Don’t leave me hanging like that.
Now, do me this favor, send this to your favorite stylist!